UTTER MADNESS!
by RareBlooRose
Summary: This is just a random, funny fic that I thought of! Read it and tell me what you think! NO FLAMES!


UTTER MADNESS!!

By:

MyStrawberry Kitten Loves Yaoi

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Hi!

Just a little funny story that I thought of.

It's kinda short but oh well!

ENJOY!

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**Disclaimer:**

I do not own Fullmetal alchemist!

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Warning!

A little of OCC!

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UTTER MADNESS!

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It was a bright and sunny day in Roy Mustang's office.

"I'm so damn BOARD!!!" Exclaimed Lt. Colonel Roy Mustang as he leaned in his chair while sitting at his desk one hot day in June.

"I hear you." Agreed 2nd Lt. Jean Havoc as he lit the cigarette that was in his mouth and, doing the same as Roy, leaning back in his chair but he leaned on only the back legs on the chair with his feet on the floor in front of him.

There was nothing to do that day including paper work

(That Roy had finished for once.)

"You know that if you lean any farther back that you gonna bust your head wide open." Roy said matter-of-factly

"And you'll get sent to the hospitable"

"Yeah, but going to the hospitable is better then just sitting here."

"True."

"Hey Roy?"

"Yeah?"

What's with this see-saw looking thing back here anyway?" Havoc asked as he pointed to the log with a long, flat board resting with on log with his thumb.

"Beat's me." Roy answered

-KNOCK, KNOCK-

Went the door as Master Sergeant Cain Fury entered the room.

"Hey Colonel, do you mind if I but this easily-disturbed Monkey in your office?"

"Neh." Was Roy's answer as he waved his hand at Fury not giving a damn what he did.

"Thanks!" Furry said as he put the Monkey on the part of the board that was laying on the ground on the other side of the room and walked out of the office closing the door behind him just to open it once more.

"Oh, and by the way if you cause it to screech and another person walks in to the room it'll automatically latch on to that person's face." And with that said he closed the door and walked away form the two men.

"Colonel, why did Fury put a easily-disturbed Monkey in your office?" Havoc asked

"NEH!" Roy was getting irritated by all the questions he was being asked he was trying to go to sleep but it seemed like no one wanted him to but he ignored it and fell asleep with his head hanging over the back of the chair with his arms crossed and laying on his blue military pants.

'Might as well catch some 'Z's'.' Havoc thought as he leaned farther back in the chair his eyes slowly closing as he lost his balance and fell backwards on to the board that was in the air causing him to wake up and the Monkey to go flying towards the sleeping Roy.

It landed smack, and clinging, to his face.

"Mmmm... Riza..." Roy slowly opened his eyes to see a furry thing staring directly into his eyes.

"Oo?" The Monkey questioned

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" He screamed

**"GET IT OFF ME!!!**

**GET IT OFF ME!!!!"** Roy jumped up from his seat and began to run around the room with his hands extended out in front of him.

This caused the Monkey to screech loudly and dig into Roy face even more.

"I don't know why you're so afraid of Monkeys, Brother?" Al questioned

"It's just those beady little eyes and that screech!"

Edward exclaimed

"Can we please stop talking about this I'm starting to feel faint."

"Sure Brother" Al agreed.

Edward said as he opened the door to Roy Mustang's Office to see a Monkey clinging to Roy's face as he ran around the room pegging for someone to take the Monkey off of him.

Where was Havoc he was fast asleep on the floor dreaming happily of him looking at beautiful girls until Roy walked by them and caused them to fall in love with them?

The Monkey turned his head around at the sound of the creak of the door.

The Monkey leaped off of Roy and landed onto the Monk-a-phobic boy causing him to run around the inside of the whole entire military campus screaming:

"THERE'S A MONKEY ON ME!!!! GET IT OFF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF** GOD** GET IT **OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**

"EDWARD COME BACK!!!!" His brother screamed as he ran after his brother.

When he found him Ed was in a corner on a side of a table with his knees to his chest and arms around the rocking himself back and forth as he repeated the same thing over and over again.

"Monkey's... Rabid...Ha Ha... **DANGER!!!"** he repeated the same thing to himself as his voice got lower and lower only when he said 'Danger'.

As the monkey ran ramped around Central HQ throwing papers, beating the subordinates until Riza had seen enough and shot the monkey continuously until it was on the floor flopping around like a fish out of water.

THE END

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Strawberry Kitten:

That was fun to write!

I know I know it didn't make any since at all but it's not supposed to!

This is my first try at a funny story!

So Please don't flame me!!!!

Check out my other stories if you like this one!

I might put up more meaningless chapters but only if I get at least 5 good comments!

SO please review so that I may continue this funny Meaningless story!

-Strawberry Kitten


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